Every freaking night I feel miserable. Maybe this is what the night does...
Once I think of what to write it feels like a stupid situation - like what happened to me doesn't even matter, it's all just crap. But every damn situation stirs my emotions a different way...it bugs me to the most inner part of my soul. I get so angry that things effect me so much. I can't live my life thinking that I should not care. Yet I try to pretend that I don't care. That doesn't really work either.
I wish that once I spoke to someone about my problems they would go away. Obviously if it was that easy, I would not be typing all this. People just say it'll be ok, I want things to be ok - of course - but once again it is not that easy. I don't think I'm an anti-social person...I don't think I can survive being alone, not because of who I am I think it's a human characteristic. I think people need other people, it's a natural thing. I view things of this world - mainly what humans have created - make people more divided. Although globalization and technology have connected countries more than 1,000 miles away from each other doesn't mean that we are MORE CONNECTED to them. If anything...we are all becoming more distant from each other than we ever have been in history. Think about it from my perspective....but then again...i'm so far disconnected from people now...and they are so into their technology and own life...most likely no one will care.
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No offense, but I sometimes wonder who you spend your free time with, or if you have finally made friends at school or wherever. I also get sad when I see that our friendship has slowly dissipated to my only knowing of your life's ongoings through this journal. I think to myself that perhaps it's because time has passed and things have changed or something like that but then I realize that its not like I don't want to see you. It's the opposite but we never connect.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I'm rambling. My head is foggy.