Super frustrated

I am looking over my art blog and realized that my painting sucks.

It is the most frustrating feeling to look over something that you thought was not so bad and see all the flaws. I see more blues in my leaves, yet whenever I begin to paint it just becomes green. I'm disappointed and I want to get help. Yet I don't go to an art college anymore and will not receive the professional help from a forceful teacher. The teachers at AAU are hard asses that knew if you did not learn you did not deserve to pick up a paint brush. Oh how I miss their teachings!!!!

Off on a tangent - I like to condition my brush! It's not funny...it is a serious thing, paint brushes do not come cheap so I love them and want to take good care of them. This random thought came to me a few days ago when the teacher mentioned caring for brushes, and how some people will shampoo & condition their brushes. Few students scoffed and ridiculed under their breaths, for me I smiled and thought of how I have a special brush cleaner and container where they can dry. I remember the first time I started to paint seriously, I had no clue how to take care of brushes.

Am I obsessed? Sadly no I am not...I want to be though. I want to be so addicted to painting. It's all about my wants....but...time management is not exactly on my side.

For now I am only a student who has to juggle general education alongside painting...